My Healing Heart – Breaking the Chains
My Pain, My Story, My Badass Art
Breaking the Chains
For whoever needs this:
USAF – 11 yrs 2 M 5 days
Holding the Crap That Happened to Me Inside – 37 yrs 9 M 2 days
Holding the Crap That Happened to Me Inside – 37 yrs 9 M 2 days
The Pain
When I entered the military, one month after high school graduation, I was running, seeking, and hoping…I was also naive and ill-prepared both mentally and emotionally for what I was about to encounter.
The Cause
Many things happened within that fierce brotherhood where women were tolerated but not welcomed. For the longest time, I blamed myself for not only what happened but my reaction to what happened. Thirty-seven years later, I was sitting in the VA, waiting to begin Counseling. I had just renewed an acquaintance with my first love, art, and had my notebook with me.
Healing Begins
Like many, many times during my lifetime, whether it be writing or art, my creativity helped to unleash and unravel what was holding me emotionally captive. Many times I have said my writing keeps me sane…apparently, so does art.
My History
I began writing for emotional release when I was seventeen. I was in a bad situation at home and had fallen in love with reading many years before. Somehow, for me, writing was a natural reaction. From there I began writing for fun.
Three months later, to placate my abuser, I gave it up and aside from emotional release, it would be decades before I would write again. Why am I sharing this? To be honest, it’s not easy. But if my story will help others to express what’s chewing them up on the inside, then sharing my story is worth it.
Let it Out!
Write, draw, talk to someone you trust, go into a private room and scream if you have to, but get that shit out. It’s eating you up and no amount of medicine is going to give you the emotional release that expressing what you’re feeling can give you.
Hey, if it helped/helps an awkward farm girl from Pennsylvania, it might help you.